Future Blog Fragment
by Wayne Porter
I have been reading up on “Earth- A History” by Egledorf. He says there used to be stars in the sky many decades ago before a man patented the technology to shoot advertising into space. Frankly I cannot understand how people could have mentally taken the punishment of having a vast sky, dotted with flaming stars, overhead all the time.
I know stars like Spica and Arcturus exist, but to imagine that vastness is disquieting and unnatural. The comfortable glow of the red Coca-Cola ads gives my artificial trees a beautiful red tint that makes the holiday season seem somehow merrier. I even bought a holiday intensifier that lets the artificial lights sync up with the advertisements in the sky so they pulse in unison. I know what you are thinking- those lights are dangerous and can cause seizures. Rest assured I have a government approved phenobarbital mist distributor to make sure no one has a seizure.
I was faced with a tough decision. The Food Regulator glitched today and I was presented with over ten choices of items to have for dinner. I prefer only having two or three choices because it saves time. I finally decided on the protein paste with sesame oil.
I spent more time with my “Earth-A History” text today. I find it amusing that our primitive ancestors used to eat animal flesh for sustenance. This lead to the Great Famine of 2074 where a huge part of the population died from malnutrition. You would have thought they would have had the foresight to realize that you cannot over-fish ocean areas and raise massive herds of cows without consequences! These people actually used to inhale burning tobacco leaves, another sure sign of barbarism. I am so glad the government created our Food Regulator. Not to mention I find the thought of eating anything in non-paste form repulsive.
Only ten more shopping days before Christmas! I have been able to NetOrder most of my purchases but it was a rough day. While I was mind-viewing a movie a rogue advertiser started beaming messages into my mind for NarcoSticks. I have reported the advertising infraction to my local Advertisement Police Unit but I have a feeling these people were using an anonymous feed and won’t be caught.
Today is Christmas! I have read in my “Earth- A History” text that it used to be on the 25th but people really didn’t like having it on an odd day and folks really needed the extra time to shop for consumables so I think the change was a good idea. Not to mention it is absurd not to order one’s calendar around fiscal years.
I Tele-Vided to my family’s domicile and we had a great time trading consumables. I got the DarkoDan Iso-Muscle Stimulator™ that simulates isometric exercises. Whew- it’s going to be a tough year with that thing. I also received a fossilized fragment of wheat or some similar plant which I though was interesting although a bit dusty. I would have stayed later but there were power restriction curfews in place so I had to get back or risk having to stay with the family for more than a day. I couldn’t imagine having to stay in the same domicile with any people for more than 24 hours, even if it is via hologram. Proximal contact can lead to unwanted propagations and the Maker knows we can’t afford that in this day and age.
New Years Day and I have been really sick and forced to use manual reverse peristalsis to remove the matter making me ill. I have to go to the bathroom at least once an hour and at one point it was almost a disaster because I was cramped so bad I couldn’t run my hand scanner over the toilet to get it to open. I am sure my frequent trips are going to arouse suspicion because I am definitely going way over my allotted sick units. I am sure it has something to do with the Food Regulator glitches the last few weeks. Perhaps I received some poorly engineered paste. I read on NeuralNet that there is a lot of counterfeit paste flooding the southern markets.
Anyway I have applied, in triplicate, for a sick unit expansion module and hoping to get the hand scanner toilet restrictions waived for the next 48 hours. If I can just make it the next two days I am sure my life will get better. Of course I am going to have to trade my allotted reading units to get the toilet restrictions waived, but why spend time reading “Earth- A History” anyway? I don’t think there are very many lessons we can learn from barbarians.
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